Staring_at_ceiling wrote:*giggles*
You actually posted this?
Teehee. Silly Aet. ^_^
But really, I Lurve it! ( And I seriously giggled :O )
Lots O' Luv,
Lindsay
Yeh, I actually posted it.
The word "smink" came from Staring_at_ceiling in the chatrooms. Me likee, so I decided to create a poem about it.
------
The Smink, one would think,
Would be a sort of a mink,
But the Smink, ever eager to surprise,
Shall quite often prove, that this is all lies.
The Sminks, they will prowl,
But never a growl,
Will you hear emerge from these,
As they take all insults with ease.
The Sminks are quite nice,
The Sminks could melt ice,
But despite their best attempt,
To all possible friends they're exempt,
For the Sminks are twelve feet ten,
And often mistakenly tread on men.
------
My try at Prelutsky. 
Staring_at_ceiling wrote:*giggles*
You actually posted this?
Teehee. Silly Aet. ^_^
But really, I Lurve it! ( And I seriously giggled :O )
Lots O' Luv,
Lindsay
That was really cute! It was very Suess-y, and I liked it. 
Your rhyming was good, except for
AetLindling wrote:The Sminks are quite nice,
The Sminks could melt ice,
But despite their best attempt,
To all possible friends they're exempt,
*giggles*
You actually posted this?
Teehee. Silly Aet. ^_^
But really, I Lurve it! ( And I seriously giggled :O )
Lots O' Luv,
Lindsay
well, you dont have to take my advice, but i think that some of the rhymes were lame, put in just to keep the rhythm 
example: the mink thing.
but, it was funny near the end! i enjoyed.
I liked this actually, and I was surprised that I did. It was funny and reminded me of Dr. Zues... whether or not you find that an insult or a compliment, I'm not sure, but I am certainly one of his fans.
The one thing that I could say about this poem though is that the first two lines did not entirely pull me to read the rest of the poem, as I found them rather "hard-going" and a little confusing, but this is probably because of my own simple mindedness which I have pointed out to many other people.
Altogether, I enjoyed the peom, so good work!
Hee, I'll try. It'll be quite random however... all of a sudden I'll have inspiration for something good.
Haha wow that is excellent. It made me laugh. x]
I want to see more stuff like this.
Yeah, thanks for the critiques! I suddenly thought of the tread/trod thing when I was outside, but I forgot about it for a while because I wasn't sure if it was right or wrong; now I guess I do. Thankees, I like it too.
That's so adorable! That's so cute!
You might try turning "they are" into "they're"...having one syllable instead of two would definitely improve the rhythm there.But despite their best attempt,
To all possible friends they are exempt
I agree with the others, "trod" ought to be "tread". But other than that...totally my favorite line.And often mistakenly trod on men.
I agree, the last line threw me. It was pretty funny. I know exactly what your talking about
Instead of trod on the last line, you should have tread. The tense change confused me a touch. Other than that, your rhythm is out a little in places but this is a really fun little poem and it made me smile.
Yay! Sminks! Haha, that was awesome! I was there when Linds made that word which was pretty funny...the origin she gave for it. Anyways, nice work Aet!
120,615 Literary Works • 651,087 Reviews
Very funny, and the rhyming was very good. I drool over good rhymes. 
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